Geeking Out H.A.R.D.

For those of you who don't know [which is far too many of you], HARD is a fantastic photographer gal I know. She is seriously amazing.

Ethereal Sessions. I want her to make a book, seriously.

I woke up in a funky mood and haven't wanted to do anything, all day. I've been feeling apathetic and uninspired. Things like taking out the trash, cleaning out the freezer, organizing anything... Anything that requires me to adult is just not really happening. This mood never stretches out long enough for anyone to consider it "real" depression, but it's just as annoying [see: Dysthymia].

My Amazon cart was full of ideas, and I keep forgetting that the clock is actually ticking. For what, you may ask? Two awesome things. One, the Salty Dog Cruise with Flogging Molly. Two, my turn to do photos with Holly! For some reason, that's all I've been able to think about today. I guess it's kind of a good thing, too, because I've been really dragging my feet on getting the materials together. This means that I'm going to have to rely strongly on Etsy and rush orders, but I did find a couple things on Amazon that are helpful. And Ms. T, just wow. Such a quick response and enthusiasm! The good news is that a couple of the items I need for the shoot I can actually use on the cruise too: strappy gladiator sandals and a nice lacy coverup number, for example.

Which reminds me. I forgot to order spf-vampire-level. Crap. But anyways, do you know how hard it is to buy a good swim suit in February? They aren't exactly out on the shelves yet. So I'm stuck with my friend Amazon... but half of their stuff is shipping from China [which also means Asian sizing, not American]. Yeah, my self-image took a big hit today. Thanks for bathing suit sizes, you jerks. However!! After the cruise two things happen. I start back up at school, and my favoritest ever yoga studio moves to a new location. Meaning, not downtown. Meaning, no parking issues. Which is pretty much the only thing that kept me from going. In fact, they are going to be close enough for me to walk to! Score. Ask and the universe will compromise. I still have to do the hard work of going, but this coincidence was well timed.

PupDate: After the Quest of the Cone, Cassius has officially leveled up! He put all of his new stats into Good Boy Points. He's still obnoxious from time to time, but he's much better behaved now. Not sure why, but whatever. I'll take what I can get. Here he is deciding that the kitty scratcher-tree is now his chew toy:

The Back-Slide Cha-Cha

Two steps forward, Three steps back. Cha-cha-cha.

I realized yesterday how easy it is to slip back into bad habits--and how difficult it is to maintain good ones. We wanted to eat at home and cook more, rather than eat out [for the benefit of both health and our bank accounts]. That lasted about two weeks. I wanted to get back into yoga. One week on, one week off. I'm not on here to bitch and moan though, more to muse. Within a week or so, we stopped cooking, I stopped keeping my food log, started buying coffee rather than making it at home... it was all just so easy to start again. But now that I've really caught the backsliding, I can actually do something about it. So.

Today when I woke up it was actually perfect weather to do yard work. So I did! I spent a good couple hours planting more crocus bulbs, aerating part of the side yard and sowing lavender, and sweeping up the sidewalk. I will probably regret this tomorrow, if not later tonight. I was going to weed the side flower bed, but Mr. Obnoxious was being, well, obnoxious. Decided it was probably time to give the neighbors' ears a break.

I haven't been writing [obviously today changes that]. I did manage to finish one of the baby blankets, but the other is still barely started. Although I dropped my math class, I have been keeping up pretty well on Kahn Academy. However... I'm a little nervous about taking pre-Calc 2 and Java at the same time, so I started doing some of their JS tutorials. I'm not trying to brag, but this entry level type coding seems to be coming to me very naturally. It's kind of like line-editing, or learning a foreign language. It's all just a matter of knowing the right commands and using 'correct' punctuation [for the program]. I'm hoping that this might be the start of me settling into a career finally.

Unfortunately, I can't focus on coding as strongly with company over... the boys are about to start playing something online, which will distract the hell out of me. And we'll probably throw on a movie as well. I could work on the other blanket, but my hands are kind of sore from gardening. I'm definitely too tired and sore to be cleaning up or doing more laundry [why is it that laundry never ends?]... soooo I will likely try Civ Beyond Earth again. It was on sale so we snagged it. I'm still not sure how I feel about it--I can't seem to do as well on BE as I have on V--but then again, I have played V for years. Plus, I'm limited to things I can do with a puppy in my lap.

Side note, Pup-date: He's had his stitches out for a couple weeks now and everything's doing well. He finally got a bath again! He still has one teeny scab from the stitches, but everything else is healed up. Except... he hasn't quite grown back his foot fur yet, so his toes look really creepy. Especially next to his other foot. We're hoping that was his last histiocytoma, but only time will tell. He'll be 2 this July, which is around the time they 'normally' stop showing up.

Feelin' Like Death

I don't really have a whole lot to write about today, but I figured since I'm sick I might as well spend some time writing. That's at least semi-productive, right?

I have a pretty killer immune system. I rarely get sick. I'm more of a Typhoid Mary character--I bring the bugs home to everyone else. But when something does manage to get through my immune system, boy it sure hits hard. Usually this only happens once or twice a year--once in the spring, and once in the fall. In college, it usually managed to hit right around finals. On deployment, I really only got sick after vaccinations. After we got home, I only got sick when we got the flu shot. I'm not sure if I've even really been sick-sick since I got off the ship... But wow, this year it's killing me.

It comes in waves kind of. I'll feel fine for a little bit, functional at least, and then I'll be so miserable all I want to do is sleep--but unable to. This is Day Four of the sickness. I can never quite trust my brain or my body. I can't tell if I need to take it easy and heal, or if I need to suck it up and just get everything done. So far today has been a decent compromise--I slept in, went out for meds, and made some phone calls I'd been putting off. I also cleaned the bedroom fan and set up the humidifier I bought back in December--the dry air has been making my nose burn now that I'm sick. I'll probably spend the rest of the day crafting in bed--I have a special project for a friend who is opening her own salon. Nothing major, but I'm really excited for her and I hope her plans come together. I was going to try to tackle the laundry and also go to hot yoga, but now I'm thinking that might be pushing it a little.

Even though I'm sick and miserable, I'm really really thankful. I love that I have a comfy bed and a sweet puppy to curl up with. [That face! It's like he knows!] I love that I have an equally sweet man to spoil me, even though he thinks he never does enough [hint: he totally does]. I have everything I could ever ask for right now, and it feels sooooooo good.

-insert clever title-

Pupdate: Stitches came out on Tuesday, but Doc said we should keep the cone on for another week, in case the healing caused him to itch. Most of the fur has grown back so that's a plus. He's been really good and I'm home sick today so I could supervise completely... So today was Cash's first cone free day in over two weeks! YAY! He has only licked once or twice and generally doesn't seem to care about his foot, he's took excited that he doesn't run into things now. I think tonight he'll still get to sleep in the bed, but then we'll start to transition him back to the kennel for nite-nites.

What else? Well, I am dropping out of my math class because I'm too far behind. I was auditing a class--meaning taking it for free, and receiving no credit--but it was too far above my skill level. Mostly because the University goes on semesters and the community college goes on quarters. So I'm taking the rest of this quarter to focus on health and getting in shape and establishing a routine--not that being sick and having cramps is helping with any of that, but hey, baby steps. I bought a groupon for some Hot Yoga, so that will be kicking in as soon as my uterus quits kicking my ass.

Today I mostly laid in bed with Archer on, ate pho [magic soup], and worked on finishing up a baby blankie for a friend. I'm one row from being done, because I don't know if I have enough yarn to do a full border around the outside. I wish my hand would stop going numb... but that's kind of normal for me. Mildly annoying to take this many breaks, but it is what it is. I'm a little overwhelmed because I have two friends due in March and volunteered myself to send them blankies. Silly me, I forgot how much I procrastinate and ADD on projects. I only have slight baby envy. It's a little bittersweet that I'll never produce my own kid; but at the same time I was never sure I wanted to. Mostly I feel bad because I'm helping to perpetuate Idiocracy by not birthing an intelligent and responsible child. However, I would run the risk of ending up with some very bad physical defects,  which honestly I'm just not a big enough person to deal with. I don't want to end up with a kid and resent them, so I am probably just better off with a puppy. This has always been the case. That said, I love making blankies for my friends' kids, and I hope that I can be a positive influence on their lives in some way. And adoption is always an option later down the road, when life is much more settled.

Just realized I have 919 photos on my phone! That's a little bit overkill. I try to go through them and clean them out from time to time, but I'm always paranoid I'll have not backed something up enough and lose a picture I wanted to keep. Luckily my phone has a huge internal SD card.

Lessons from the Garden

Correct, Mister Laurie!

It wasn't until after I got started working that I remembered this quote. I've been feeling antsy and agitated about my yard and garden the past couple weeks... we have NOT taken good care of it this winter. Today for some reason, when I came home from class, I didn't go inside. I just put my bag down, left my headphones on, and got to work on the garden. As I worked, I had many thoughts.

• Perfection is the enemy of progress. 
• Proper tools are essential for easier tasks.
• Tools are great, but for really delicate things, sometimes you have to show your ass a little and get your hands dirty. [Okay, maybe I just need a belt...]
• Work from the inside out... or else you will end up undoing the work you've already done. [think in terms of self/other... You must heal yourself before helping others. You know, like an oxygen mask on an airplane. First affix the mask to yourself, then provide assistance to others! Or like Ru Paul says...]
  

• If you're going to play in the dirt, don't be surprised when the creepie crawlies show up.
• Maintenance is much easier than a major overhaul. Consistency is key, and much less daunting.
• However... cleansing and purging is sometimes necessary to move forward, and can be very rewarding.
• Above all, grow. In the face of death, destruction, ignorance.... grow. Until you reach the sun. Be like this little guy.
  
  
  

Which reminds me.

Apologies for the tangent. Now. Focus. I can plant some more crocus bulbs now, but generally the second week of February is the nastiest of the winter up here. So I may wait until after that. But having to wait until April to plant everything else is going to drive me nuts! I want to put down some sunflowers by the fence where the pup has worn the grass away [so it at least looks like it was on purpose], and a major project idea came to me while I was working in the flower bed. It's going to take a lot of help, some cash, and a lot of work. Updates when I get the plans fleshed out a little.

Pup-date: Conehead gets his stitches out tomorrow. And hopefully today is our last day of dealing with the cone!