Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Thoughts on Feelings.

A friend of mine had reposted this a while back, and while it seemed apt and inspirational at the time, I am in an argumentative mood and reviewing it has caused me some grief. So I suppose, instead of taking it out on the wrong people, I’ll just write instead… always a good choice, I’m told.


From: Buddhist Boot Camp
I was taught that feelings naturally come and go (like clouds in the sky), whereas emotions are feelings with a story attached to them. Those emotions can last for as long as we keep feeding the story, and this can go on for years. So when people FEEL sad, I understand, but when they EMOTE sad, I get very confused.


Buddhism teaches us that if we get attached to impermanent things (and feelings are a perfect example of things that are impermanent), then our lives will be full of anguish. But if we live each moment without getting attached to it, then we can eliminate the very cause of suffering right there and then, and joyfully live our lives.

We all feel sad sometimes, or hurt, angry, excited, anxious, even blissful, but it never lasts for very long, and that's okay. When one feeling passes, another feeling will replace it.



So. What… if the emotion… doesn’t pass like a cloud in the sky, but instead settles over you like smog in LA? An immovable, suffocating aura that doesn’t move? What then? What if the feeling doesn’t pass, therefore you have no opening for something to replace it? There’s not enough room to cram two conflicting ‘feelings’ in there [where? Heart? Head? I dunno]. Overlapping them doesn’t work.


On a semi-related note, my mother always told me, “Fake it ‘til you make it, sunshine.” A colleague recently reposted a similar thesis. I advised him that yes, that could get you through some tight spots, but you shouldn’t let it become your life long-term, or you will end up an empty, spiteful shell. With 20/20 hindsight and all, I think now is about the time I should be putting my foot my mouth and chowing down on toejam sandwiches. No one here has any clue. They think I’m okay. They don’t know that it’s all a fa├žade. And even when I do crack and snap at someone, or stew for a day or two, they only are catching a percentage of the truth. Every day I turn my brain off feels like an accomplishment. Every day I am too busy to think, too occupied to ponder, those are the good days. But it’s getting harder and harder to keep my mind caged up doing parlor tricks.

1 comment:

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