Thursday, October 23, 2014


I'm not sure if these feelings are from Fibromyalgia, or my own personal inner demons with motivation, or an ongoing battle to adjust to night shift. Maybe it's even the weather changing to fall--nope, maybe not, that usually makes me feel amazing. But I am pooped. I have no energy. I have no motivation. I have so many ideas, plans, and chores. So many things I want to do. But for every step forward I take, I end up procrastinating the rest. I am loving the research that I'm doing, but today I can hardly understand and process more than a sentence  at a time. I'm running out of time to plant the garden. Our yard is a wreck. And like I said, every time I make a shred of progress, it wears me out so much that I can't follow through. I bought a rake. Since then, it has been too rainy or too late in the day. I finally get the energy and determination to start the laundry, but then once it's out of the drier and into the basket... well, let's just say there's two baskets full of clean laundry down in the garage.

...and there went my train of thought, there went all mental cohesion I was barely hanging on to. I feel a failure, but all I can do is think, "well, I guess I'll do that tomorrow then. If x y and z align."

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