Thursday, March 6, 2014

2014: the year of Renewing, Reviewing, and Revisiting.

2014 is also the year of divorces amongst my people. But aside from that. I've been dealing with a lot of things and going through a lot of changes, and as such, blogginess has sadly fallen to the back burner. So like any good woman, it's time to get back in the kitchen and cook some -ish up before things get charred and burnt [sorry, work joke].

So. There's some things I can discuss freely and some things I can't just yet. But let it be known to the world that I am happy, safe, and sound. And much much better after a period of relative darkness. You know how after a while in the dark, your eyes adjust to night vision, and if you're lucky, you don't even know you're in the dark anymore? That's sort of a metaphor for what happened to me emotionally. However, someone held a lantern up and I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. With a little encouraging, I was able to take a step towards it. Then a giant leap. Now I'd say I'm nearly there, working at a slow but steady pace.

I'm working on it, okay?

So, less metaphorical and more specific. This specific revamping struck me after another small step into my past. [I'll explain that later] I went back to hot yoga. Oh, how I missed it. And I will not say I'm "out of shape" because we all have different shapes, but apt to the venue, let's call it "out of practice." Heh, yoga joke. That made me realize, I'm also out of practice on writing. And I am having so many thoughts and ideas these days that I really should get back into it. Thus, this post was born. Now, it did take me a good two days to get around to writing it, and I hope to remedy this delay in the future. But the next few weeks are going to be pretty hectic and stressful, so it may take a few attempts before I am updating regularly again. [assuming anyone besides my wonderful Auntie is interested in following my exploits, teehee!] case you needed an injection
of your daily dose of cuteness
So. I forget the actual word that's on my mind [PS there's a word for that, too]** But I know it starts with the prefix RE. Returning? It's not retrograde, because that generally has a more negative connotation. But I have been putting a lot of work into understanding myself and my life, and coming up with some answers I spent years ignoring. I am not only adhering to my medication, but also embracing my life as a whole. This means LOTS of previously absent self-care. I lost who I was along the way and became someone I never thought I'd be, and never wanted to. So, definitely something with the prefix re-. I am looking back at the past to the times where I know I was happy [some times, up to 6-10 years ago! Thank you, dysthymia...] and working on getting elements of those times back into my life. Crafting. Gardening. Learning. Writing. Yoga. Running. Gaming. Loving. Cooking. Kitties. Organizing. I have earned my karma... as the saying goes, sometimes "you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light."

Some of these you'll notice are not new themes for me. However, I am making them a higher priority now. As someone close to me repeatedly reminds me, "You have to help/take care of yourself before you can help/take care of other people." And helping and taking care of other people does bring me a lot of joy, too. I am much happier now. Exponentially, even.

**PS. For the dirty lexophiles who care, this is that word:

For more free vocabulary lessons, as well as touching, uplifting, and completely depressing thoughts, I HIGHLY suggest you check out Word Porn on Facebook. 

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